BritCits

Lyndsey and Paul

“When you marry somebody you love for richer or poorer, it should mean just that...I shouldn’t have to choose between being a mum and granddaughter, and being in love.”

Lyndsey is 29 years old and a British citizen by birth.

She is in the horrendous situation of having to choose between being with her children and looking after her elderly grandparents, or being with her partner.

Lyndsey’s situation is as follows:
- Two children from a previous relationship; the children's father does not contribute financially.
- She is the carer for her grandparents – one is recovering from bowel cancer, the other with a heart condition.
As neither is entitled to an attendance allowance she doesn’t receive a carer’s allowance. However this does not mean she shirks her responsibilities or leaves the State to look after them!
- Lyndsey and her partner, Paul (American), have known each other since 1999; they have been romantically involved since 2009.
- Her children consider Paul to be their dad and refer to him as such. He considers them to be his own children.
- Paul has made a greater contribution to their well-being – physical, emotional and financial – than their real (British) father.
- The kids’ actual father doesn’t make his CSA (child support allowance) payments! He has a family of his own, a loving partner, children from that relationship ... a right that is denied to Lyndsey by this government!
- Lyndsey is not allowed to move her children overseas due to UK family law; the only option open to the family is for Paul to move to the UK.
- However, Lyndsey doesn’t earn £18,600 and may never do so. She does not have the time to take on a full-time job, earn enough to pay for childcare, and also look after her elderly grandparents.
- So, according to this government, Lyndsey can’t fulfil her responsibilities to those she loves, if she also wants to be with the man she wants to spend her life with! What country are we in again?

Paul’s situation is as follows:
- owns his own home
- Would work full-time, allowing Lyndsey to work part time, which would ensure they share and fulfil their responsibilities, like a normal British family.

Lyndsey’s request is as follows:
i/ Make the rules fair so that honest, decent hardworking Brits aren’t kept apart from their loved ones.
ii/ Sort out the disgrace of the system called CSA and make absent fathers just as responsible for their children as the mothers. If Lyndsey didn’t have to support her kids fully as well, she could be able to work more hours, therefore earning a higher income, and thus able to have Paul by her side.