“I
will give this country my all. In return I hope it gives me back my husband.”
Hayley is a British citizen.
Between the ages 10 and 17, Hayley lived in Spain.
She is now 19 years old and is
mother to 4-year old Byron. Even though
she was only 14 when she fell pregnant, despite being so young she decided to
keep the baby. Even at that age Hayley
knew all she wanted was a family.
When the father of her baby turned abusive – emotionally, mentally and sexually
- Hayley suffered for three years. She
was alone in Spain without financial independence and only her son as family –
she felt like she had nowhere to turn.
There were times she considered committing suicide, but obtained
strength and hope from her son, who also was her impetus to find the courage to
escape. She decided she did not want her
son to witness the abuse; to see his mother being beaten and raped.
Hayley returned home, to England, believing here she would be safe. She had many dreams. She would continue her education and provide
her son with a good life. She felt free
and ready for a fresh start. However,
the abuse had left its scars and Hayley sought therapy for the resulting
depression, nightmares, flashbacks and general negativity. Nothing seemed to bring about closure to
allow her to truly move on.
It was then that Hayley met Manuel.
A
police officer from Colombia
who had been sent to England to learn
English.
They immediately became great
friends and then the relationship developed into more.
Seven years older than her, Manuel provides
Hayley with the stability and maturity she needs. He is intelligent, kind and
wonderful with children, including Byron.
Manuel understood Hayley’s pain. He
encouraged her to accept the past and love herself. He would playfight with her, give her a
reason to smile every time he walked into the room.
For Hayley and Byron, their lives changed with Manuel’s
presence.
He provided the happiness that
had been missing and hope that their future could be bright after all.
They planned to marry in August 2012, before Hayley started university in
October.
Just when everything was going well, it happened. The rules changed.
Hayley was devastated.
Here she was about to embark on university, with her husband by her
side. And now she was being told employment not education should be her
priority. However at the age of 18,
without a university degree, Hayley did not see how she would be able to get a
job that paid over £18,600 anyway.
So Manuel left England. Hayley felt the
effects of depression again, was referred to a mental health department and
then diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
Everything suddenly made sense. She wasn't crazy. She had just been affected by many things and
finding happiness just to lose it again, felt worse than ever.
Hayley’s doctor recommended she defer university until she was better. So Hayley decided to go to Colombia to be
with Manuel instead.
Hayley and Byron joined Manuel in December 2012, though she
immediately realised that Colombia wasn't where she wanted to be as it was
dangerous and didn't offer good education for her son, let alone any future
children she and Manuel may have.
She cried and cried; thinking about England night after night. Manuel would simply tell her that one day
she’ll be able to come home again.
The stress caused further health problems, with Hayley
suffering from chronic gastritis and IBS.
The doctors recommended she relax and return home where it would be
safer.
Hayley ignored the medical advice - she did not want to leave Manuel. In May 2013, the couple got married – not
only making them feel like the happiest couple on earth, but providing Byron
with his wish to have a daddy who would love and raise him. Hayley feels every day that she and Byron
are lucky to have found such a wonderful man.
When Manuel however was posted in an even more dangerous part of Colombia, they
agreed it would be safer for Hayley and Byron to return home.
Hayley has since been in London seeking employment paying over £18,600. She is spending a lot of money on babysitters
just so she can attend interviews. She has given up on her dream of going to
university. She is heartbroken and at a
loss as to what to tell Byron when he asks why his daddy is not with them. How can she explain to a 4-year old that
mummy doesn’t earn enough for the government to let daddy in.
Manuel is a good hardworking man.
He isn’t a criminal nor someone who will sponge off the system or other
people. He is willing to leave his home
and career to ensure a better life for his wife and stepson. Manuel is now not only Hayley’s husband, he
is also Byron’s daddy.
Out of the first four months of
their marriage, they have only been able to live together for one. Hayley feels that she hasn’t even had the
chance to yet learn what it feels like to be a wife.
She feels betrayed and cheated by her own government. How is it they expect her to find a job paying
£18,600 while having a child to look after, being forced once again into single
parenthood? She needs time to heal and
excessive stress is more likely to play havoc with her health.
Hayley is determined to help other people and has written a book about her
experience. She hopes to prevent teenage
pregnancies and raise awareness of rape and domestic violence. She is now an author having self-published
her first book through Kindle, “Lead towards the unknown”.
She has dreams and is prepared to
give the UK her all. In return she hopes
the UK would just allow her to live with her husband.